Grooming the Groom

I’m working on a new cheat sheet, and I’m realising that although we spend many hours and dollars on bridal hair and makeup, and hardly even spend any attention on the grooming of the groom.

So, guys, if you have a moment…
If you don’t already own one fantastic suit, now’s the time to think about buying  one – it’s a handy asset for future job interviews, funerals, and any time you decide to make the effort to look swish!

When the clothing budget is tight, it’s better to hire an expensive suit than buy a cheap nasty one. Trust me when I tell you that a well-fitted suit is worth any effort it may take to track it down. It’s important to get the fit right, ESPECIALLY if you almost never wear suits in your real life!  To be blunt, a poorly fitted or badly made suit will do one of two things: show off any unsightly bits by squeezing them into hideous lumps, make you look like the Hunchback, or Hulk on a bad day, or make you look like you’re playing dressups in someone else’s clothes.

Not a good look for a wedding, not for any time.

A well-fitting suit will be fairly comfortable, and allow a full range of motion, both buttoned and unbuttoned. I’m told that you should be able to fit one [and only one!] finger between your neck and your shirt collar when it’s buttoned up and the arms of the shirt should not creep up when you stretch your arms. An experienced tailor will be able to recommend styles and fabric that will help disguise any possible flaws you may perhaps be sporting, and highlight all the really great bits of your sun-bronzed-god-bod [cough, cough]

Match the tie and shirt carefully, taking into consideration the bridesmaids colour scheme, and don’t be afraid to ask for more opinions if you really haven’t got a clue.

Your suit should arrive freshly pressed and neatly folded or hung in a garment bag. So, even if you try it on, put it back neatly to keep it looking sharp until you come to put it on for real. On the day, whenever you take your jacket off, hand it back on the hanger, or the back of a kitchen chair.  There’s nothing worse than a suit that looks like it’s been living on the bedroom floor for a month.

Speaking of taking off your jacket… I have no idea why we persist in wearing three-piece suits for beach weddings, but, if that’s what you’re up for, you probably don’t need me to tell you that massive sweat patches are deeply unsexy, and very hard to get rid of once they’ve saturated the area under your armpits. Unfortunately, sweat creates its own cycle of hell: you can’t remove your jacket because the sweat patches will be visible, but the jacket is making you hotter and hotter. Pretty soon, you’re standing around in your own personal mini-sauna. The key here is prevention: Roll on deodorant is more effective than spray. Apply industrial strength antiperspirant before you dress and throw a can of spray anti-perspirant into the back of the car in case a top up is required later in the day. If you already know you’re a hydrant strength sweater, it’s worth remembering that  a dark shirt will hide sweat patches better than a light or white shirt.

It only takes a moment of error to end up with stains and marks on shirts and suits, so try to put off dressing into your suit until the last possible moment. Beware of the clinging power of generously powdered grannies, and don’t let anyone talk you into holding the baby until after your formal photos are done!

Unless you’re going for a specific effect, the rule is that black shoes go with navy, gray and black suits. Tan shoes work with navy suits but rarely with black. Socks should match your shoe colour, unless you’re wearing something cheeky. White shoes or socks are dodgy, unless you’re Elvis. And even then…

Sneakers don’t ever work with morning coats, but can bring a stuffy suit back into the zone. Whatever shoes you choose, make sure they’re clean, and if they’re brand-new for the occasion, make sure you break them in by wearing them around the house. You won’t look good if you’re wincing in pain and oozing a trail of blister juice onto the honeymoon suite sheets.

Spend some time and money on your hair,  and your hands – if your job means you have perma-stained hands, surprise your bride by getting them scrubbed back to lily-white by at the local manicurist. Your hands will be on show once that shiny new ring is on your finger, so a manly-manicure is a great investment. Your wedding photos will be around for a long, long time, so get a decent cut and style.  And do it a week or two before the wedding, so if it goes horribly wrong you’ll  have time to get it cut again or let it grow out slightly.

Having gone to all that effort, don’t ruin it at the last moment by adding in unsightly bulges. And I don’t just mean not putting a frog down the front of your pants for the look of it. [Yes. Indeed. There’s not much I haven’t seen!].

You shouldn’t need your wallet, camera, or even your car keys, once you’re all dressed up and ready to go, so resist the reflex urge to stuff them in your pockets. Even if you keep your mobile phone handy for last-minute messages, once you turn it off and give it to your mum to keep in her purse until the shouting is over. The same goes for sunglasses – If they’re not on your face [and during the ceremony, you bet they won’t be!] they shouldn’t be in your pocket either!

Comfort yourself with the thought that all this fuss in only a fraction of the effort your bride will be putting in to look her best for your wedding day. And remember that it will be worth it all to see the look on her face when she gets her first look at you, waiting at the top of the aisle!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: